Monday, October 17, 2011

It's F*cking Hot...Swamp Ass Alert!

ASYLUM: This time of the year, everyone seems to get a chafin' case of the hot and moist wave of undercarriage horror better known as summer swamp ass-- especially in Gotham. That's why Asylum reached out to the working men and women who likely get the nastiest (and most frequent) cases of the thing tushies hate the most, and asked for their remedies.

"Just wear loose shorts and do baby powder if you have to." -- Louie, 41, Fed Ex Driver

"Take a dunk in the river when no one's looking." -- Sheri, 47, physical therapist

"A bit of dusting from the green bottle of Gold Bond keeps my butt dry all day. And I drink lots of ice water to keep me cool from the inside out." -- Sam, 31, gym trainer

"If you have a choice of chairs to sit on, pick the hard, wooden ones. Anything with cushions is bound to make you sweat." -- Guy, 28, personal assistant

"Jump in a cold tub of water, ditch the underwear for new ones and stay inside with the air conditioning." -- Trevor, 49, truck driver

"I just keep pulling my boxers away from my ass and deal with it until I'm home." -- Jim, 22, UPS driver

"You don't beat swamp ass. You just have to man up." -- Martin, 59, unemployed

Found this article and thought it was kinda humorous and kinda of all right on point. Swamp Ass is an epidemic that ruins people worldwide. Sometimes impossible to avoid, looks miserable, and usually only around for a few months. Be safe out there and watch your ass, it could be soaked.